a reluctant atheist

I'm an atheist who wishes she wasn't. Life would be so much easier!

Has It Really Been Two Years?

1 Comment

Wow. I can’t believe that it’s been two years since my last blog post about my life as an atheist in a God-fearing family and community. There’s really no excuse except that, as so often happens, life got in the way. My father has been ill and in and out of the hospital after a serious accident and the development of a serious illness. My job has changed – twice. I’ve lost a good friend and gained a few new ones. And through it all, my lack of faith hasn’t changed. Let me rephrase that – my atheism hasn’t changed. I don’t really see it as a “lack” of anything. I didn’t, in a moment of despair, begin praying out of desperation. Throughout long nights in the ICU when we weren’t sure my dad would pull through, when I discovered I’d been betrayed professionally by someone I had considered a friend, even when I had to make the difficult choice to cut someone out of my life, I never felt the need to pray. There were many elements of my life that were out of control, but I was in control of myself. I navigated through the difficulties and appreciated the unexpected joys without having to thank a mysterious God who seemed to be either toying with my emotions or oblivious to them.

I’m sorry I haven’t been here. I’ve been reading others’ blogs throughout the past year and continue to be glad that so many of you are willing to share your stories. It makes my own journey away from the restrictions of religion a little bit easier. I hope you’ll welcome me back to the fold and that we’ll be able to reconnect. I still value every one of you.

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One thought on “Has It Really Been Two Years?

  1. Wow! You and I are in the same boat. My dad has also been sick for the past year or so. While my mom wants to pray his illness away and guilt him toward religion, I’m over here, keeping my thoughts to myself and wishing I could speak freely. My dad is an unspoken agnostic that wants to be left alone and lives in the home of a bible thumping Christian. Keep being you and know you have a community here to support you.

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